Have you ever felt while being engaged that the focus is on the wedding more than it is on the marriage? Perhaps this is normal. Perhaps it isn't. But for me, I want my season of being engaged to be an... engaging one (I love a good pun!) But in all seriousness, I want this season to be one where I engage in conversations about what the purpose of marriage is, engage in conversations about love & growth and spend time preparing myself to become a wife. I want my focus to be on our marriage, as well as our wedding.
So this was my goal, for this time to be a space for me (us) to plan our wedding whilst preparing our marriage, since after all, that's what the wedding day is all about!
One of the ways I have tried to achieve this growth is by reading books on marriage & love and one of my favourite reads has been 'The 5 Love Languages'.
Now before I go any further, I thought it would be worth mentioning that this book has sold over 10 million copies & has been translated into 50 different languages. So it's a pretty popular read! And on that basis alone, it's probably worth checking out!
This book is so engaging and eye-opening. I had heard many years ago about this concept of there being 5 love languages but I finally decided to read the book. Have you ever considered the idea of there being more than one love language? That the way you receive and give love might be different to your soon to be husband? The book talks about each person having a love tank and how each person's tank is filled differently. Might sound a little cheesy, but it is written so well & makes for such a fascinating read!
The Five Love Languages are:
Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Touch & Acts of Service.
What I enjoyed most about this book is that it opened up my mind to understanding why Adam sometimes doesn't respond to what I think is me showing him love. He's not a 'Words of Affirmation' kind of guy, but I love words! I love telling him how wonderful he is in every way possible but I'd always get so mad when he didn't respond with love filled eyes, feeling so loved by me! Haha. You know the feeling, when you just want your partner to feel so loved? Yet it's so frustrating when you're trying your hardest & they still aren't responding! Well this book helped me understand this. I was speaking through one of my love languages not his. Now just to clarify, although we have a primary love language, it is still important I believe to express love in all 5 ways! Everyone needs to hear affirming words, have quality time etc. it's just helpful to know which way communicates love the most to your partner. After Adam took the test I realised to really build him up, he needs quality time & some affection and his love tank is left full to the brim! And if his tanks full, he responds better to other dialects like words, acts of service etc.
Reading this book opened up deeper lines of communication for us. We decided that even though we have different love languages, we were going to try add elements of each language into our relationship. I love that this book shows us what language we respond to best but I also like the idea of it expanding our ability to love each other and hopefully others around us in greater ways as we begin to understand love as a language.
Want to know what your language is? Click here!
If you have any books you'd recommend reading, let me know! Would love to add it to my list!
Until next time,